Now for something completly different
by xRabbitx
Summary: FemPrussia x Canada. Still uses their normal human names, kinda confusing but bear with me. Gil's the new girl and scares the beejeezus out of Mat. In a way Alfred sorta sets them up. Rated M for a reason.


Now for something completely different!

FemPrussia x Canada. Still uses their normal human names, kinda confusing but bear with me. I ask in advance that no one hit me.

* * *

Mathew watched his brother from the other side of the classroom. Alfred was surrounded by girls that were hanging off of his every word. That really bugged Mathew. Alfred got any girl he waned, while he couldn't even talk to girls. Mathew sighed. A small nagging voice in the back of his head told him not to give up hope. He told it to shut up and mind its own business.

Mr Dilligaf turned from the equation on the board to glare at Alfred. "Mr Jones!" He called. Alfred and his groupies all turned to stare at Mr Dilligaf. "Could you please pay more attention to the board? Unlike your trip to the beach yesterday, this will be in the final exam." He wasn't angry, just bored. Mr Dilligaf is exactly like his name entails. Alfred respected the odd little maths teacher, so without much thought, he shut up and copied the example from the board. Unfortunately the silence was a short one. "Mr Dilligaf!" An excited Feliciano called from the door. "I have someone here to see you!" Feli Skipped up to Mr Dilligaf, her skirt almost showing her underwear. A white haired girl with a pixie cut, black nails and red eyes followed her in. Mathew was instantly frightened by her. Alfred on the other hand was captivated. He saw this strange punk girl as a challenge. Plus he was a total slut and wanted a change of pace.

oOoOoOo

P.E. He couldn't believe the scary girl was in another of his classes. Worse still it was raining and that only means one thing. Dodge ball. "Please Mr Ludwig I don't feel very well." Mathew pleaded. The German P.E. teacher stared down at the trembling Canadian. "Mathew, we go through this every time it rains. You have survived countless games before and you will live to see many more. Now quit your winning and go play." Mathew hung his head. There was no way Ludwig was going to let him sit out.

"Come on Mattie!" Alfred yelled as he practically dragged his brother to the wall. The whistle blew and all hell broke loose.

Duck, dodge, weave, dodge, jump, duck again. Mathew was one of the first to get out, he wasn't very good at the dodging part. Alfred was sitting beside him massaging the red mark the ball had left on his forehead. "That throw was so illegal." He growled.

"Not if you hadn't ducked." Mathew retorted. Alfred glared at Ludwig, the deliverer of his pain. Mathew watched the new girl, Gilbert, throw the ball and wind Ivan. Gilbert's red eyes flashed in Mathew's direction, catching his violet ones for just a second. His eyes widened and looked down. There was no doubt the new girl frightened Mathew. Alfred however, was a different story. He flashed her a flirty grin. The distraction cost her a ball to the chest and she walked off, death staring Alfred. "I think she likes me." Alfred said proudly. Mathew's jaw dropped.

"I think you're nuts!" He whispered, scared that she could hear them.

"Why? she's hot."

"She's scary. I've never met anyone who makes me want to flee in terror like she does." Alfred raised an eyebrow to his twin.

"You realise she's a girl and you're a guy right?"

Mathew was offended. "Girls can be scary."

"Whatever." Alfred dismissed him. Mathew knew how to win this argument with one word,

"Natalia." Alfred froze and a million goose bumps rose on his creamy skin. The Canadian smiled to himself.

oOoOoOo

Mathew spent the next few weeks trying to avoid Gilbert. It wasn't easy, she was in three of his classes. The class that worried him most was art. The teacher had asked them to paint something, anything at all. Mathew had drawn Kumajiro. Gilbert had done a painting of herself standing on a conquered Earth, complete with a flaming guitar smashing into it like an axe. Mathew never dared look at her artwork again. She really creped him out.

oOoOoOo

The bell had just rung for the end of the day and Mathew was halfway out the gate when he remembered he had left his jumper in the art room. While rushing back to the room he heard someone crying on the nearby staircase. He was already at the door to the art rooms he quickly ducked inside to grab his jumper before seeing who was on the stairs. There sitting on the forth step up with one hand on her ankle and the other wiping tears from her face, was Gilbert. Mathew was going to turn and run, but she saw him. When she looked at him with tears in her eyes, he suddenly wasn't as scared of her as he usually was. "Are you ok?" she half laughed through the tears.

"That's a stupid question." He looked down at her ankle. That was a stupid question.

"Do you want me to go get someone?" She shook her head, causing her short hair to dance. '_She looks so helpless._' "Then what can I do? You're hurt, right? You need help." She shook her head again.

"It's just an old injury playing up." The tears stoped flowing and she adopted a serious expression. "It'll be fine in a minute."

"Doesn't look like it." She death stared him and he sub-consciously took a step back. She stood up using the railing for support and carefully made her way down the remainder of the steps. Her knuckles were white around the railing as she slowly transferred most of her weight onto her injured foot. He watched her scrunch her face up in pain and use the railing for support again. "Here." He held out his hand to her. He was afraid of her, but he couldn't let her do anymore damage to herself. Reluctantly she took it. Then before he realised it she had thrown her arm over his shoulder and he was wrapping his arm around her slender waist. The second they had made contact, Mathew wanted to run. Gilbert however didn't mind being helped by this strange blonde kid she hadn't really noticed before. She looked up to thank him and saw the paled expression he wore. "Shit, are you ok? You don't look so good." He swallowed hard.

"Fine." Realisation dawned on her and she smiled teasingly.

"Are you afraid of me?" He kept staring straight ahead. Not daring to meet her crimson gaze. "Oh my god. You're afraid of me. Wow, I'm honoured." Mathew felt very uncomfortable helping her limp down the hall. "Wait a second?" She asked confused. They stoped walking. "You're afraid of me, yet you're still helping me?" He managed a faint nod. There was no use denying it. "Why?" To Mathew that was the hardest question in the world. Gilbert was getting annoyed by his silence. "Say something!" He felt like he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide forever.

"I...I just…couldn't…" She tilted her head slightly to the side like a curious puppy.

"You couldn't leave me there?" Mathew was saved by the tapping of leather shoes on the laminate floor. They both looked up to see Mr Dilligaf walking in their direction.

oOoOoOo

It had been three days since Mathew had left Gilbert with Mr Dilligaf in the hall so he could go home and hyperventilate. He was grateful he at least had the weekend to recover. But then all of that hard work went out the window. Mathew was minding his own business, just walking down the hall. A group of younger boys were blocking the whole hall. They were playing some game with a tennis ball. "Excuse me?" His soft, little voice failed to get their attention. "Excuse me, could I please get through?" He tried a little louder. The boys still didn't notice him. They were too busy yelling and jumping after the tennis ball.

"Oi!" The sudden angry shout made everyone, including Mathew turn and stare at the fuming albino. Her glowing red eyes reminded Mathew of a demon's. She was standing just beside and behind him. "He asked you to move." Her voice was low and dangerous. The boys all backed up, a few of them ran for their lives, and left a wide space for them to pass. Mathew didn't move. He was shaking slightly as he continued to stare at her. She sighed, slightly annoyed and grabbed Mathew's hand. It was all sweaty, which pissed her off even more. Mathew didn't speak as she towed him through the group of terrified kids. She didn't let go until they were around the next corner. That wasn't the way he wanted to go but there was no way he was going to protest. "You should learn to be more assertive." She told him, stopping dead. Her voice still held a small note of danger. He didn't say anything. She noticed him shaking and her expression turned playful. "Mathew calm down, I'm not going to bite you." A shiver crept down his spine when she said his name."How did…?" She smiled.

"Feliciano told me." Mathew pictured the bouncy brunet in his head. She had been hanging around Gilbert a lot lately. Although that didn't surprise Mathew at all. Feli liked everyone and everyone knew she had a major thing for Ludwig who just happened to be Gilbert's brother. Mathew swallowed, his interest had been tweaked. "What else did she tell you?" Feliciano was a gossiper and could have easily provided Gilbert with torturous material. Gilbert shrugged. "Not much. Just that you're Alfred's twin brother." She spoke Alfred's name with poison and Mathew vaguely wondered how many times Alfred had tried to hit on her. "Although you're so much sweeter then he is. You have a fondness for maple syrup and you keep to yourself most of the time. That's it I think." Mathew rolled his eyes, he had known Feli for years and that's all she could say about him. "She had a lot to say about your brother though." Mathew smiled to himself.

"I bet she did." Feliciano was one of Alfred's usual groupies.

"Why do all those girls hang off of him like that anyway? Even the guys hang off him. If you ask me he's a creep. He keeps hitting on me and the more I brush him off the more he tries!" As she went her voice slowly got louder.

"He's not that bad, really. He's just... enthusiastic." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"He refers to himself as_ 'the hero'. _He's more than just enthusiastic." Mathew had no argument for that. "Hey you stopped shaking!" He jumped. "Does that mean you're not afraid of me anymore?" She took a step closer and he took one back. _'Not good!'_ He thought as his back pressed against the wall. She was so close, he started shaking again. She saw this and pouted. "I'm sorry Mathew. I'll make it up to you." She really was sorry that she scared the Canadian so much. "Hey, I never thanked you for being so sweet on Friday did I?" Mathew stoped breathing as she placed her hands on his shoulders and reached up to place a small kiss on his cheek. She smiled to herself as she walked off. Mathew's skin didn't know what to do, be pale from fright or bright red from the kiss that still burned on his left cheek. It chose pale as he sunk to the floor and relearned how to breathe.

"Um, Mat. Why is there black lipstick on your face?" Mathew looked up at his brother.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

oOoOoOo

"Mathew are you still up?" Alfred had come down stairs to get a drink of water and found Mathew watching a hockey game on T.V.

"Can't sleep." Alfred sat down beside his brother.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Is it Gilbert?" Mathew shivered.

"She still scares the crap out of me."

"Even after she kissed you? Which I still can't believe." Mathew smiled inwardly, a little smug at Alfred's bruised ego.

"Still scary. When I'm around her my hands start to get all sweaty and I start shaking. When ever we touch it fells like she's burning me alive. Her eyes fell like they're physically pushing down on me and make me want to run away as fast as I can. And I always fell sick when she's close. I just wish it would stop." Alfred considered what his brother had said.

"Mathew? Is it possible you're not afraid of her at all?" Mathew stared at his brother like he had three heads.

"Of corse I'm afraid of her! Weren't you listening?"

"Yes I was listening. But is it possible that you don't fear her, you like her?" Mathew was dumbstruck. He just sat there staring at his brother.

"I don't understand." He admitted.

"These are sighs of a school boy crush, my brother." Alfred said in his super hero voice.

"You're crazy." Mathew stated flatly.

oOoOoOo

Mathew had been doing his best to avoid Gilbert. He found he needn't have tried very hard. It was like she had completely forgotten he existed. This strangely upset Mathew, but he wasn't about to draw her attention to him.

During P.E. on Thursday Alfred stupidly walked up behind Gilbert and whispered in her ear. What ever it was he whispered it had the opposite effect he was looking for. She took one step, turned around and slapped him hard across the face. The impact was loud enough to travel through the entire hall. "Jack ass." She hissed before storming off. Her brother, the, oh so grumpy, Ludwig gave him detention for disruptive and inappropriate behaviour. Mathew looked over at Gilbert and Feliciano. Gilbert was as mad as hell and Feli was giggling her head off. Alfred plonked down beside his brother. "So close." He massaged the red hand print on his face.

"Dream on Alfred. She hates you." Mathew told his optimistic idiot of a brother.

oOoOoOo

Friday. Mathew was watching a hockey game he had recorded when someone banged loudly on the front door. He hit pause and got up to see who it was abusing the door. Who ever it was, they were other really angry or really needed help. He prayed for his sake it was the later. He opened the door to a fuming Gilbert. "Where is he?" She demanded storming inside.

"Who?" Mathew asked meekly, still standing by the door.

"Your dip shit brother!" She disappeared up the stairs. "Alfred you coward! Come and face me!" Mathew recovered from his initial shook and hurried after the terrifying girl.

"He's not here." He said causing Gilbert to turn abruptly and he almost ran straight into her.

"Where is he?" Her voice was dark and dangerous again.

"Um… H…he said he was s…staying at I…Ivan's place tonight. Y…you actually j...just missed him." Mathew was trembling under her gaze. Then suddenly her eyes were tearing up. She threw her arms around Mathew's neck and hugged him. He was in shock, he didn't know what to do. The sick felling in his stomach stirred up again and he felt like he wanted to faint. His mind flashed back to what Alfred had said the other night. _'But is it possible you don't fear her, you like her?' _Mathew chased the thought from his head. She terrified him, nothing more. He hadn't realised it but somehow his arms had wrapped around her of their own accord. "What did he do to you?" He asked softly.

"He's such a dick. He won't leave it alone. He put another stupid letter in my bag." Mathew found himself getting angry with his brother. "If you need anything, I the hero will assist." She angrily imitated Alfred. Mathew started to stroke her hair to comfort her."I'll talk to him. Get him to leave you alone." She lifted her head to look at his face.

"Thank you Mathew. You're so sweet." She reached up and kissed him. Her lips were soft against his. Suddenly he didn't want to run from her anymore. He wanted to be closer. He hugged her as close to him as he could. She gasped and started to rake her fingers through his hair. The kiss deepened then she moved her hands to his chest and pushed. He fell back onto the bed. He only just realised they were in Alfred's room. She grabbed his knees and tugged so his hips were just on the edge of the bed. She knelt down and undid the front of his school pants. "Wait! This is Alfred's room!" He said breathlessly. She smiled as she stared stroking him.

"I know. This is part thank you, part revenge. Now hold still." She kissed the tip of his almost fully erect penis, before taking it in her mouth. Mathew's head rolled back the second her warm, wet mouth closed around him. He moaned as she bobbed her head. She licked, kissed and sucked him all the time smiling at the noises he made. He still couldn't believe it was happening. 10 minutes ago he was terrified of her. Now she was giving him a blow job in Alfred's bedroom. She couldn't help but stroke herself to the noises he made. A swirling heat was pooling in Mathew's abdomen and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. "Gill…" She gave him one last lick and he exploded into her already full mouth. She removed her hand from her own pants and wiped it on the carpet. Half hoping Alfred would notice it tomorrow, unlikely but still. Then she released Mathew with a pop and wiped his juices from her chin. She stood and lent to kiss him before whispering in his ear. "Come over to my place tonight. Around 8." He just nodded as he lay there basking in the after glow. She smiled at the cute blonde and found her way out.

oOoOoOo

It was just past 7 and Mathew was about to take a shower. He stripped and placed his glasses on the counter. Just before he stepped into the shower Alfred came barging in. "Hey Mathew, have you seen…?" He stopped and stared. He barged in like that often so Mathew's naked body was nothing new to him. But what was new was the black lipstick on Mathew's dick. "What…? How…? When…? You…? She...? Mathew…?" Alfred's brain was overloading. Mathew on the other hand was feeling a little smug.

"Today. When she came here to kill you." Alfred blinked, speechless. "Alfred, could you please stop staring at me like that?" Alfred moved his gaze to his brother's face. "Thankyou. Also could you stop making passes at her? You're freaking her out." Mathew's voice was quiet but firm.

"Yeah, sure. You know me Mattie. Never steal a girl from family. I'll stop hitting on her while you're in the picture." Mathew knew that was the best he could hope for.

"Thanks Al, now get out."

"Sure, I just came by to grab some stuff I forgot earlier. Oh, by the way, I knew you liked her." He ducked out the door before Mathew could throw the shampoo bottle at him.

oOoOoOo

Mathew stood at Gilbert's front door wondering if this was such a good idea in the first place. '_Sure I had enjoyed her _thankyou_ earlier, but should I really be here. She's staying with her brother right? What if Ludwig found out? What if he's inside now, just waiting for me to knock so he can give me detention every day until graduation?' _He remembered what it felt like to kiss her. Besides he was far more afraid of what Gilbert would do if he stood her up. Swallowing hard, he knocked. Mathew counted three seconds before Gilbert opened the door. He stared, she looked so hot in that little black dress. "Mathew, hi!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. "Leave your shoes by the door." She walked into the living room. He quickly kicked them off and followed her. No one else there but Gilbert.

"Where's your brother?" he asked nervously. She gave him a sly smile.

"Out." She pulled him into a kiss. He couldn't help but press his body up against hers, she smelt so nice. His exploring fingers found the top of the dresses zipper and without actually thinking about it, he pulled on it. It slid down easily, making the faintest noise. Gilbert wouldn't have even noticed if she hadn't felt the cool air on her bare skin. She slipped her arms out from under the straps and her dress fell to the floor in a circular heap, revealing her lacy black under garments. She broke off the kiss and led Mathew by the hand up to her room. He watched her, admiring the curves of her body. He loved the way her underwear hugged her arse in just the right way, and that strapless black bra he just couldn't wait to unhook.

Her room was simple. Well it was her brother's guest room after all. She pulled off his shirt and started kissing his chest. She pushed gently on his chest. "Get on the bed." He did as he was told. He sat against the bed head. She removed his jeans and boxers and he briefly wondered if it was going to be a repeat of before. That thought was shortly dismissed however when she slipped off her underpants and startled him. She kissed him and rocked, just brushing over his erection. She broke the kiss, breathing hard. She slowly lowered herself onto him. He couldn't help but think how good she felt and she liked the way he filled her so perfectly. After a moment she started to move. She rocked and bounced, using the bed head for support. Mathew placed his hands on her hips and helped her to move. He rocked with her increasing the force at which they slammed together. They could fell the familiar heat building inside them as they got closer and closer to the edge. Gilbert screamed as she reached her limit. When her walls contracted and shuddered around him Mathew also reached and spilled his seed within her. She collapsed on top of him, not bothering to lift herself off. Mathew kissed her forehead and brushed her short snow white hair behind her ear. The thought occurred to him that he never got to unhook that bra. But the Canadian was to tired and decided to leave it till another day. For now he was just happy to lay there with her. Shortly before he drifted to sleep, another thought occurred to him. "Um..Gill?"

"Yes, Mathew?" She asked sleepily.

"You are on the pill right?" Her red eyes snapped open.

* * *

Dilligaf – Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck.

Sorry it was so long but that's just the way it turned out. But I do have to admit that some bits were unnecessary. Anyway thanks for reading. And double thanks if you read my other stories too. xD


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